That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize