Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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