I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
