Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
