I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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