Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize