Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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