Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
