i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
