Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize