i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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