? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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