Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
