One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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