if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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