Your face is a jimmy john
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
