Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
