he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
