I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
