tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is classic penis vs brain.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
