i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
