i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
