worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
