There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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