girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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