Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
