3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Jerry, you need to find god
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
