My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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