your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
