I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
