we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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