Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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