you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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