We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we made out on top of his cat.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
