We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
