Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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