how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
