well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
