Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
