people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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