Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
