Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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