Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
