i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
