batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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