I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
