Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
