...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
