addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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