Betty ford says i'm here all night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
