I accidentally had phone sex last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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