Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
