if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
only if we run a train.
done.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
