That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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