Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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