gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
