a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
