there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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