I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
