I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
