I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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