I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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