highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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