You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
