DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
