guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
