She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you will always have a special place in my vag
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
