thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
