Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
