haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
