Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
