ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
