I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
