is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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