Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
