Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone came in the potted fern
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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