Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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