I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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