Only a mothe r could love this liver
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
