i think my mom watched the whole time
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
