I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What drink are we having for lunch?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
