I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
