the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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