garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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